Thursday, February 24, 2011

An adoptive hope chest.

Are you familiar with the concept of the Hope Chest? For all things there seems to be a wiki, so... Why do I bring it up? Well, for many years I have had an interest in adopting. One of the many benefits offered by the company I am going to work for is an adoption reimbursement program (partial). In contemplating accepting the job offer I admit the idea of a company who supports adoption in such a pointed way was deeply encouraging. I know it is an expensive process. Though I've heard rumors that the whole having kids enterprise is a big money issue.

Anyhow. In my years of contemplating I've developed a bit of Blue Car Syndrome and occasionally toy with the idea of collecting items for an adoptive hope chest. Books, music, movies and objects that are about adoption stories. Something that would show my kid how special they are and that even though I didn't give birth to them it doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about them for a long, long time.

A few of the items I have in mind:
Meet the Robinsons (movie) - about a young boy who wants a family more than anything and has to travel to the future chasing a bowler-wielding maniac to learn about his place in the world










Martian Child (movie) - a widower pursues adoption of a young boy with special needs: he believes he is from Mars and fails to understand human culture











Despicable Me (movie) - a super villain, Gru, adopts a trio of ridiculously adorable kids as part of his plot to out-bad his super-villain competition. Turns out Gru is a sucker.








The Bean Trees (book) - a story of a young woman setting out on her own for the first time and getting handed a Native American baby in a dark parking lot. The story follows her evolution from young, spitfire woman to falling in love with this kid.


Pigs in Heaven (book) - sequel to The Bean Trees where Taylor (the mom) and Turtle (the adopted child) are confronted by the legal system of the Cherokee Nation, threatening to separate the two








There would be/will be other things.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

89 Days

I have an app for my phone that gives me countdowns. You punch in the date of the impending event, give it a title and set it up with a snapshot from your library and it generates a day-by-day countdown until the event. Prior to my internship last summer I set the program to tell me how many days until I flew to Minneapolis. When I accepted the offer I created counts for Commencement and starting my new job. I am grateful that the program does not automatically update, you have to open it to make it update.

Today marks 89 days to commencement. And I've decided to take my panic and stuff it into a little box. And to wrap it in a list of 89 things to think about as commencement draws near.


  1. I have a job lined up already,
  2. in my field,
  3. for a well-loved company,
  4. who made an awesome offer;
  5. that includes bangin' relocation.
  6. Laura will come apartment hunting with me in May.
  7. I get to travel to Idaho and California to see family in March.
  8. I need to make dates with my parents more. 
  9. My thesis is under way.
  10. I love writing, so
  11. my thesis is actually fun to work on.
  12. I have lots of ideas for thesis:
  13. I am weaving a new fabric this week &
  14. starting drawings for the next jacquard.
  15. I bought a Nook!
  16. My Nook makes me read instead of watch TV. 
  17. I am sleeping better without watching so much TV. 
  18. I have a plan to get my cavities filled. 
  19. Including an appointment for tomorrow. 
  20. Spring semester = staff selection season
  21. I will spend an awesome Thursday interviewing people for my job. 
  22. I will get to be a giant ResLife nerd for interviews. 
  23. Doing interviews makes my departure feel more real. 
  24. My birthday is in April. 
  25. It's a chance to have a party. 
  26. I will have at least 2 parties before I move away. 
  27. I like parties. 
  28. I might buy a new dress for the parties.
  29. I love dresses. 
  30. I might be able to buy a smaller dress for the 2nd party. 
  31. I have been on South Beach for 1 month. 
  32. So far it makes me feel great. 
  33. Yoga on Wednesdays is the balance I need in my week. 
  34. Yoga on the weekends makes me feel like I can do anything. 
  35. Including deal with short bouts of panic. 
  36. Like learning I might have to move the week of graduation. 
  37. Moving will mean having a bigger kitchen. 
  38. And a bathtub. 
  39. And hardwood floors.
  40. I would also like a dishwasher. 
  41. Though I would settle for more counterspace. 
  42. And possibly a deck.
  43. Spring is coming. 
  44. The perfect time to read outdoors. 
  45. Our campus looks gorgeous as the seasons shift.
  46. It will be warm here sooner than in Minnesota. 
  47. I will get to show Laura what the city is like. 
  48. It will be like going on vacation. Kinda ;)
  49. I get to spend the semester immersed in studio work. 
  50. I get to weave on the jacquards every week. 
  51. I have the best commute I've ever had. 
  52. I look forward to having 1 job.
  53. I will miss being in the studio. 
  54. I will not miss 3am wake-up calls. 
  55. I am going to invite family from all over to my show and to graduation. 
  56. I will be able to show my family something they understand: beautiful fabric. 
  57. I will be able to take my portfolio with me. 
  58. I can show my portfolio through my website. 
  59. On my Nook. 
  60. Anywhere with WiFi. 
  61. My car is paid off. 
  62. If I pay @$1000/month for @10 years my student loans will be paid off.
  63. I will have a master's degree. 
  64. I had no idea where grad school would take me. 
  65. Things have worked out incredibly well. 
  66. Everything that was scary became something awesome. 
  67. I will have a job that directly relates to my degrees.
  68. I will be able to share that with people at my high school reunion. 
  69. Which I will attend with 2 of my oldest friends. 
  70. I will have time to spend with friends and family before moving away. 
  71. I will be able to afford moving. 
  72. I enjoy house hunting. 
  73. I can make new curtains for my new place. 
  74. I can't wait to have my family out to visit. 
  75. I might have to buy a coffee machine just for them.
  76. I have a ton of work to do between now and then. 
  77. Like drawing
  78. and packing
  79. and mounting the show
  80. and packing
  81. and photographing
  82. and updating my website. 
  83. My staff this year is awesome. 
  84. I get to spend the rest of the semester with them, too. 
  85. I've met a ton of awesome people in grad school. 
  86. Intelligent, talented, dedicated people. 
  87. I never thought I would be here. 
  88. Grad school has been an incredible challenge, 
  89. and a blessing.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

A tablet? An ereader?

I watched my parents open their new Kindles this past Christmas with such glee that it pushed my own desire to have a tablet/ereader up ahead of schedule. Initially I was interested in Apple's much-lauded ipad. It could do all the things I would want from such a device: ereader software (Kindle, Nook, Overdrive, you name it), web browsing (for personal pleasure and also as a lightweight, portable way to showcase my portfolio website) and play movies (after the airport debacle I now owe a small portion of my calm and sanity to netflix.) Also, a huge bonus, I could buy it through work.

But that Kindle. It's so light-weight, sleek, simple. I found that very attractive, too. Not to mention reading on the beach. (Although, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I would not be likely to bring an expensive electronic device to the beach for pleasure reading: sand, moisture, theft... no, thanks.)

I learned about Barnes and Noble's Nook Color and started thinking it might be the next best thing. Something between the ipad and the Kindle. Color and with internet capabilities. Smaller and lighter than the ipad. And then there was the price. $250 with expandable memory (Nook) v. $499 to start (ipad).

I spent a day going back and forth between Best Buy and B&N and the last time I left Best Buy I was convinced. I was going to get the ipad. It's so shiny, so pretty, can do a million things and I can pay for it through work. I walked into B&N to erase the last doubts and instead found myself shelling out for the nook. When it comes right down to it, I don't want to hold something as big as the ipad to read a book while riding the bus. B&N has a SDK out for app development and that was enough to give me hope for netflix down the road.

So far, it's very pretty. I've loaded up on free books and started learning the ropes for borrowing ebooks from the library, too. The screen resolution is very good. It's comfortable to hold. My website looks awesome. B&N has a million titles and for wickedly  cheaper than paying for hard copies. So, I win.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Thoughts on motivation

I hit a stumbling block somewhere between spring training for work and the real start of classes. I hit the ground stateside feeling like I was ready to get right back to work, start churning out ideas, creating fabrics.  I was full of motivation and oomph. And now I don't have it.

We had a false start to the semester with our first classes canceled due to extreme weather (which was a laugh, hardly enough snow to slip on let alone close the University) and then Martin Luther King, Jr. day was also a closure. Given my schedule of classes only on Mondays and Wednesdays my first full week of class didn't happen until this week. And then we had a half-day snow cancelation. All the extra time seemed like a boon. A little more time to soak in the peace before the coming storm. Instead it seems to have sapped me on oomph.

I have a few ideas about where the hesitation is coming from. Something called thesis and something else called graduation. Perhaps that one called moving. It's a childish reaction to the inevitable approach of our future. If I don't act like there is a lot of pressure I don't have to admit to the many large changes coming my way.

What is it with me and making big changes tied to graduation? High school- graduate, parents split houses and I fall in love with my supposed summer fling. College- pack up my life, my show and store it all in my Mom's crawl space, hop on a plane 10 days after graduation and fly to Africa to join the Peace Corps. Grad school (projected)- move to Minnesota, drawing my 11 years in Philly to a close, re-commence life as a grown-up.

No reason to be in a slight case of denial, right?

Objectively I know that I am doing well. I have a warp on one of my looms ready to go. I have 4 designs for jacquard that I know will work moving forward with my thesis collection. I love writing and actually look forward to articulating the ideas behind my thesis development. I have made my weaving appointments and even laid out yoga and grocery days through the end of February.

This weekend I go to NYC, barring more extreme weather (which I hear may be on the horizon, boo) for a little museum visiting with friends and family. It should be a whirlwind of art, shopping and visiting. And then, then I will buckle down, nose to the grindstone so that by Spring Break I will feel comfortable and in the clear. Yes.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

About to meet their ghastly fate

When I was little I loved hard boiled eggs. I remember us having them in the fridge on a regular enough basis that if the mood struck all I needed to do was ask if I could have one. I liked to cut them up like a delicacy. We had 2 kinds of wire egg slicers that were as much fun to play with as the eggs were fun to eat. I learned to wield the slicer with as much precision as a violinist tuning their instrument.

I would make a single pressing cut for simple slices. I would pick the whole sliced job up and turn it to slice it into tiny sticks. If I were feeling particularly ambitious I would then take all or part of the stick egg and turn it again so that I had tiny, eensy, weensy little egg bits cubes.

I'm not so crazy about slicing and dicing my eggs these days but as I was preparing some eggs to boil this weekend I sat and thought about my egg-slicing youth. And my tea set. And sitting at my tiny table in the kitchen and being so excited to see one of the marked eggs emerge from the refrigerator shelf.

In my family we marked the boiled eggs with a sharpie or some such marker. I was about to make simple hatch marks to note my ovoid protein packs but got a little carried away. I thought about what faces they might make if they knew their fate. I was also, of course, tempted to just give them all beards. Perhaps next time.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

It only takes a few days

On take-off from Rome I thought about my trip and that it had come to an end. I thought about getting home and seeing my parents, about being able to drive my car and sleep in my own bed. I also thought about walking around the perimeter of Trevi Fountain. Sitting at the foot of the Spanish Steps. At the end of each of my trips I find myself nostalgic already. I want to build a place where I can walk from Trevi Fountain to Portobello Market. From Old Towne Square and the Astrological clock to the medieval section of the Louvre where all was quiet and open and old. And, at the end of the day, I could walk to the market, buy ingredients for the evening's meal and on to home. Just a fantasy.

I have been home for only 4 days but it feels much longer. This is part of the nature of training season in my job. I arrived back in Philly on the same day I'd touched down again on US soil. I spent part of the afternoon with my parents and then hit the road to Philly. The next morning training kicked off and it's been going full tilt ever since. In the moments when I can I try to keep my head up and my feet down. I try to remember how long until we start classes again; what I need to do in order to be ready.

Soon my entries will turn to the ideas consuming my thesis, my days in the studio and the ups and downs of my work week. But this morning I sat and re-read some of the entries from my trip and remembered sitting in restaurants. Walking down narrow streets, eating gelato, searching for mementos, loving the very shapes, sounds and colors of being there.

I feel it in my bones. This will be a very exciting year.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

A new decade.

I heard someone say this yesterday and it knocked me back. It's a
new decade. Growing up I was (and still am) part of the Class of 2000. News agencies followed us through our development, first days of school, mile markers. The year 2000 seemed far away and exotic. And now it's a decade old.

I rang in the New Year from Rome with a rag-tag group of international folks: 2 women from Chile, 1 man from Nicaragua, 1 man from Belgium, 1 man from Reno and 2 men from Chile. Although our planning didn't pan out (does it ever?) it was pretty spectacular to see the Colosseum lit up at night, the streets thronging with people. Hearing the shouting and laughing, bottles rolling underfoot. The occasional, mis-begotten car.

We made plans to see the fireworks, drink wine and be among the masses then head off for an early morning of dancing and fun.
Though it is not quite what happened (there was no dancing) it was still a fascinating and different way to see Rome.

Once it became clear that the group could not settle on a mutually accepted place to go dancing the man from Nicaragua and I split off. I wanted gelato and to go to bed. It was already 230am and we had no idea how long it would take to find a way back to the hostel on the
opposite end of the city.

We ate gelato and panini (they're EVERYwhere!!!) and began meandering in the direction of the hostel. We figured if the city center was ludicrously crowded and the streets filled with pedestrians our chances would be better walking toward "home." The streets were littered with debris and revelers. I was completely amused to stumble on what was apparently a gas station.


The pumps were thoroughly covered in bottles, cans and other containers. The pumps themselves were also pretty interesting. I have grown so accustomed to the US pumps with their fancy pants credit card readers, the digital displays that they analog pumps that offered one kind of gas were a novelty.

We walked down alleys and side streets making our way to what looked like a larger thoroughfare on my map. I thought about the people living in these neighborhoods. I thought about the woman who I'd met on my way to the Vatican who spoke with me in Spanish, warning me against being out and about between midnight and about 1230am given the Italian traditions of throwing plates and other objects from the windows and into the street to bring in the New Year.


As the crowds thinned away my walking partner and I began to see more of the city. Quiet parts and areas that I had not seen in the day. Government buildings, courtyards where orange trees grew over the walls. Tiny intersections dotted with amazing sculpture and the never-ending supply of water fountains.
The one pictured came from an intersection I did not take note of but seemed to have the four seasons depicted, one on each corner with a different fountain for each. It occurs to me now, as I write, that I never learned why Romans (or Italians in general) were and are so enamored of water works and great, public works of watery art.

We walked and talked until I believed we certainly would not locate a taxi and would instead walk all the way across the city. My friend spied a lit taxi header but it seemed too late, the vehicle had passed us. I jumped into the road and shouted "TAXI!" at the top of my lungs. He stopped. And we enjoyed a new view of the city, by car. At an hour when many would normally be waking for a new day we were just crawling off to bed. Revelers trickled by the cab windows, streets slid by, cobblestones bumping against the tires, other vehicles seeming to draw close enough to us to barely slip a sheet of paper between us. My delirium and wonder kept me from feeling the anxiety I surely would have during the day.

When my travel partner and I returned to the hostel I felt soft and happy. Exhausted and grateful to pull off my shoes, climb into bed and set no rules for when I must rise and what I must do with my day. Though I remember feeling frustrated at turns during the evening all I feel now is a smile and a fond memory of walking across the city in its quiet. All wrapped up in the promise of a New Year.

 Bon Anni, Roma!